If There's a Will, There's a Grace!

All my adult life, I had always had this gift of becoming instant friends with gays. Working as a volunteer for a children’s museum, one guide instantly warmed up to me. He would rather design gowns than give tours to children. And the hours we spent together, he would tell me of his creations. The summer I spent volunteering there did not pass without him sketching a gown for me. I think I still have that sketch hidden with my countless memorabilia.

I was thinking maybe it is just the industry I am in, media and the arts, where there are lots of gays. But somehow I naturally have a great connection with them from a potter, to a painter, chefs, TV directors, magazine editors, … it cuts across cultures from Americans to Japanese to of course Filipinos! I later realize it is beyond the industry I work in. Maybe it is shared interests – we both love good food, arts, and beautiful things. Perhaps. But maybe it is my lively spirit. I don’t know what it is, but it is a joy having gay friends.

Moving to Singapore has been filled with so many blessings. But one of the bonuses of my move here is making real good friends. And one of them is E. We met some six months ago, just in passing in a very crowded bus headed to Orchard. I asked him how work was for him in Singapore. He answered my question. We then exchanged mobile numbers. It was quickly followed by an invitation for a dinner party in his home the next day. A lovely friendship immediately blossomed effortlessly. We’ve had many meals together, from spontaneous cheap and cheerful dinners to exciting food finds we’ve discovered, or making our own discoveries together. Often times, without our knowing it, we like the same take-out stands, or cheap sotong sticks sold in the street.

What binds is not just our love for food, but also our love for God. We sing together for church. And on Sundays, we don’t sing together, we’ve gone to church together. It’s not a fixed rule or anything like that. We just enjoy each other’s company. And he has mentioned many times, “I feel like you’ve been my friend from way back.”

What makes this relationship really special for me is how he lifts up my spirit. One day he told me, “You know Maida, you’re a stunner!” He then went on to make his point, by saying how many heads turned when I arrived at mass that day. I felt somewhat embarrassed for people rarely tell me I’m beautiful. He said it was something about my statuesque presence and the confidence I exude. I silently took it in… but I guess he knew I didn’t really believe him. Two weeks later, we went to church together again. I was so excited to see him. I was so caught up with his stories of his week, and telling eventful moments in the week that passed for me. We walked several blocks from church to his office.

Later that night he tells me, “Fifteen! Fifteen men checked you out from church to my office!” I stare at him in shock. “You’re making it up,” I accuse him. But an expert advertising executive, he is always ready to substantiate his claims. “I counted. I was watching them look at you. They would check you out. Then they would look at your eyes, hoping your eyes would meet theirs. But you never looked at any of them.” I tell him, “ I was so engrossed in telling you stories, I didn’t even notice them looking.” He answers, “I know…, I was hoping they would stop looking at you and your black dress and look at me instead.” We both laughed.

What amazes me is how E sees not just my beauty, but also my talents. As I start to push my writing career with Maida’s Touch, my new writing and styling company, he propels me to pursue greater projects and bigger dreams for myself. He believes in me so much, seeing potential talents that I yet have to see in myself. He loves my company’s name, as he sincerely believes I can turn things into gold and that I truly have that golden spark!

They say friends are people who give birth to a life, yet waiting to happen. E reminds of how my mom has been the cheerleader in my life, who always saw my talents and great potentials, giving me the boost to believe in myself. Or my spiritual director, who could see beautiful things in me, I often didn’t see.

I so enjoy the time we spend with each other, from buying mung beans in the market for a comforting soup, or a leisurely Sunday afternoon in the mall (mind you I don’t usually like going to the mall), or just hearing his most soothing voice sing Lamb of God in church. I didn’t realize we had spent five straight weekends together. When I had not seen him on the sixth weekend, it didn’t seem right. I developed withdrawals prompting us to have dinner three days later.

I tease my boyfriend telling him, he has to share me with E. I am filled with so much gratitude for such a special relationship. Imagine having a man you enjoy being with, who gets your emotional side, who sides with your boyfriend when you’ve been acting like a brat, and is honest enough to tell you what a brat you are, who listens to your stories, who shares your taste for music, food and art (yes, we like the same songs, dishes, have the same painting, and our rooms coincidentally both have bold touches of red), sees the best in you, and is not after sex with you!

Pondering and relishing this wonderful relationship, I’ve realized what it is. We are the real life version of Will and Grace. E is the Will, and yes, I’m the insane, sometimes, annoying Grace, but who Will still loves. That’s just the way it is if there’s a Will, there’s a Grace.
6:45pm.4/20/08-singapore